As we grow older, life brings situations that make us start feeling nervous. It begins in school with exams. It happens with the person you like. It shows up during that big game. We feel it during tests that supposedly determine our future career.
But it does not stop there. As adults, we face job interviews. Exciting ideas keep us awake at night. We feel it on our first solo trip. It happens when we meet someone special, on our wedding day, and with our first child.
Is it normal to feel nervous during these moments? Absolutely yes. Yet, at the same time, there is a beautiful and hopeful “no”.
How is that possible?
It depends on the source of your nervousness. This source determines whether we grow as human beings or fall into a harmful cycle that can destroy us over time.
Let us start with the latter. There is a type of nervousness linked to the “thought-up self”. This is the persona we build over the years based on the approval we receive. For example, we felt loved when we proved we were better than others. In this scenario, feeling nervous comes from wanting to keep this act going. We want to prove to the world (family, partners, friends, bosses, colleagues) that we are somebody. We keep feeding this ego. But we can dismantle this. We just need to look at who is behind it all. In the end, we have nothing to prove to anyone, not even to ourselves. Here is a secret: we always do the best we can in every moment.
On the other hand, there is the excitement of being truly connected to who we are. This is linked to our true purpose. When we live from this perspective, we actually enjoy the nerves. They make us feel connected to life and our true essence.
To understand how we are living, we must investigate ourselves. We need to ask ourselves questions without fear or judgment. Who is going to work? Do I feel like myself, or am I wearing masks and barriers to protect myself? What am I afraid of if I show my true self? Do I enjoy every step I take, or only the results? Do I enjoy my mistakes because they help me learn, or do I beat myself up over them? Why?
